Musing 3!

I think I am loosing track of my musings, since I always delete the previous one! Well, I remember that the last one was when I had started working again! So much has passed between that time... that I don't know if I want to write it all or not!

Well, starting from the start... I lost my grandfather in summer of 2010. This was the other most unexpected news I heard after my nana's death. I was shocked as I was waiting for him to come online so we could video chat and talk about his Farmville! I never got a chance to say my bye to him. I don't know if I want to go back now or go back alone ... The home won't smell of them, the charm of going to dadi baba and nani nana has gone away! I know I will always be searching them in those familiar spots - baba sitting on the sofa and reading the newspaper, nana sitting playing cards, dadi calling me to her room to show me her sarees, nani making my fav food in her kitchen! I think a part of my life was laid to rest when all my grandparents crossed to another world however they all continue to live in my heart forever.

At work front, faced working with Indians! Found friends in the most unexpected people and found the true nature of some people! Of all the new people I met in the new office - I love CV (Cristina) - she is almost 48 but my best friend just like my mom at work! We chit chat, we learn while we talk, we shop or go for drives during lunch hours or just talk about anything and everything in the world! She is one person I can always look upto and know that she would always be there for me! A true Aries - loves to be her free independent spirit but loves me like her daughter! :)   Got my first unexpected appraisal within the 1st six months of working in the company - most people were shocked and I was pleasantly surprised. But, as my manager said today - you earned it Adya.. you displayed that I could give you more responsibilities and still count on you.. makes me feel proud of myself. :)  I started leading projects today with people working with me.. I am excited at his new adventure... and I want and I know that I will work to surpass all expectations.

Traveled places this year. I loveee sharing this interest with my dad as he never says No! Went for so many day trips.. and few weekend trips. Midland - all the murals along the downtown streets, each telling it's own story, Little Lake - wasn't really little, Wymbolwood Beach - private beaches at it's best, Tobermory .. the pristine water with ship wrecks - gotta go back this summer, Sauble Beach in September and still soaked myself wet in the beach, walking on the sand till I had to be pushed away so we can go home, Montreal - oohhh... the cold winds and the snowy roads... the waterfront and the xmas lights, Ottawa - the trip to Parliament Hill - loved seeing the beautiful architecture and wished that Indian parliament was open for public!  Best was to NYC - left lots of smiles, iny tiny part of my heart and a big package of hope!  And to top it all - I have my list for this year all planned out!!

Somehow, I am dying to go to India this summer ... not because of any other reason but I feel I have missed out on soo much for the last 4 years - seeing my all brothers grow up whom I still think study in primary school and whose pics I refuse to believe. I wasn't there when my dadi and baba went away... I want to feel their presence once more time in the house.. I want to attend all the marriages I missed, carry all the new born babies whom I miss picking up and singing them to sleep! I am coming India asap!

Somehow, I am happy with my life at this point, looking forward to all the good things that are coming to me and yes taking them all in a stride... and I know I will! What a life!! <3

Must Read!

Proud to be a part of his legacy!! Wish I am this courageous at that age, when it's my time.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/lucknow/Dead-mans-eyes-to-light-up-lives-of-visually-impaired/articleshow/6212167.cms

Love you Baba!! R.I.P! Will make you proud always! :)

Grandness is gone! :( :(

All the grand people are gone...

Gone are the days when I looked forward to summer break, just to get away to meet all the grand people - nana nani and baba dadi. All I can hope today is to catch one last glimpse of their smiles, get one last warm hug, have meals with them, hear all the bed-time stories again, enjoy the talks and the jokes and enrich myself with all the wisdom they shared.

They all went in a jiffy, when I least expected to hear about them. I always thought they lived forever but I was wrong - they will live forever in my heart for me to share with my close ones but not for everyone. They left behind all the beautiful memories of our stays together, of our trips, of our parties and dances and of the marriage plans they had in mind for us!

I know I wont ever hear them again, I know the hugs and kisses won't ever come, the fight to drop us for Delhi, our car rides and how I was always scared when baba drove!, eating out on our birthdays, asking nani to make the yummiest food in the world, watching cricket matches with nana, dadi loving the fact that she could see us on webcam every weekend, teaching facebook and farmville to baba! Little things which just make you smile later!

I wish I can turn back the time, get it all back. Relive each moment and never let go of any one of them!

I miss having the grand people in my life! 24July, 2010 - finished a chapter in my life!

Stars!

♥ ♥ All of us are stars, and we deserve to twinkle! ♥ ♥

It's that Simple! :)

Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.

Just a thought!

I believe that life is just made by us.. good and the bad is made by us! We decide whether we want to grow old and mature by hurting ourselves or others! We decide when we want to end up hurting ourselves and love oneself! We decide what we do with this life not anyone else... not even our circumstances! We blame everything or everyone for all the bad and feel that all good comes from within us - which is seldom untrue! We are the ones who create our life and  we decide to love it or destroy it!

That's how I Live!

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit!

~ Dawna Markova